Did I love him
yes  more han he will ever know
It was a real love
I yearned
I wanted it would fade then grow
distance kept us from holding hands
and making plans
and yet he will never know
that I did love and I do love
and what will be I do not know
if he loves me will he fight
or stand in the shadows of a starry night?
Did I love him
do I still…
it is a love sickness
can not be cured by a pill
what can make it better ?
Perhaps in time..
I did so wish he could
have been mine..

If I give this to you
What will you do
will you glue my heart back together
that which has come unglued
will you make me feel like I’m a real girl
and spin me around under the moon?
will you make love to me like he forgot to do
and care for me and let me care for you?
If I give it to you
will you look only at my faults
or try to shine light on the empty spots
and patch it up with sunshine if I give it to you?
If I give it to you
will you protect me and carry through
and love me for life
is this what we were meant to do?
If I give you this thing that
you crave will you take away the bitterness
and the shame
if I give this to you
will you love me true?
tell me if I give you my heart what will you do?

m

My heart is broken
into fragments of glass
each color the color of my past

The color of pink was the color of our love
when it was first born
and true
the color green was when I first knew
I loved you
the color red all the arguments and mistrust
the color purple
love and lust
black for when I just couldn’t see your face
yellow for when I was out of place
muddy brown when I was lost and alone
and white when I was on my own.

All the colors spill onto the floor
and I don’t know if I can do this any more
my heart is lonely
and it has hurt
I need to find love again
before I leave this earth…

color me with kisses
and fill my paint brushes
with paint and love me like the devil
love me like a saint

but love me
love me
paint my life anew

margo

I still want him
though its not what I am suppossed to say
or want or need
there is a part of me that wants him
every bit of him
from head to eyes
smile, frown and tears
I still want him
and want him near
but will it ever be….

I still want him

WHY?
With soft words
and laughter
and love
YOU
blamed me
for all your
bad days?
Your
dismissal
changed my life
I started to doubt
what was wrong and right
I stopped
feeling love
and hope
I began feeling
pins, needles
tears on cheeks
tasting salt
hands in my hair
dispair
losing the spark
of care for you
and
only
knew that terrible
emptiness
of
feeling hurt

Im Bitter
becoming cold
don’t care
I loved
I was hurt
yelled at
no one held my face in his hands
called me his joy.
I was told
go away.
They rode me like a
beautiful mare
the wind giving them pleasure
as they rode on my weary back
how I started to hate them
closing my eyes as they rode me
I dreamt of far away places
I realized I was becoming bitter
uninterested in love
I’m Bitter
I am not a mare
I am a woman
who had dreams and hopes
and wishes
a man would cherish me,
not call me names
and be ignorant to my heart,
but I am alone in the valley
drinking water
seeing my reflection
eyes aging,
bitter…

I see the sun coming through the trees
its another morning
a new day
when I lay my head down last night
I said today
I will not love you
yet the hour is 8 a.m.
and already I long to see your
face
and it is not even noon
and I want to see you so
much that the sun
coming through the trees
laughs kindly at me

margo

without love
without feeling
without hope
without care
I’ll live my life
and be dismissive of all
my dreams
I’ll forget the one I wanted
I’ll forget the one I knew
I’ll forget the one who said
I love you too
I have gotten good
at pretending
I put on masks for your moods
who do you want me to be
I’ll be that for you
but to my ownself be true I’m not
Im lost in a hell I never knew
there are men here who want to hurt me
and there’s the man I gave my heart too
there’s the man
who called me his wife
there’s a man
who asked me could he peek inside my skin
theres men who tried to
seduce me
and then there’s him and my heart he did win
but Im without him
and he’s far and I’m still caught in this hell
this town I can’t get out of to save my soul and
I’m without care
I’m without
him…..

its very hard for me to forget you those lonely
nights we shared a secret you whispered
to me
and we both had a need to be together…
I guess it wasn’t meant to be
the story of you and me
we always drift apart and never stay together
but some part me
searches for you
and I wish you were looking too
but always one of us pushes the other away..
and it was sooo good seeing you
that for a moment I wanted to tell you I
still cared,
but I usually get pushed away so I decided to say
well,
take care of yourself and youre sure looking good..
and you said your in love and I said me too
and walked away again…
and it was sooo good seeing you…
even though you often in my dreams….
do u ever see me in your
meomory ?

You are like a rose
a lovely rose
one that will not fade in storms or
sadness
you are my love
my friend
my ears
you have listened
when others walked away
I love your eyes
they are eyes I longed to see me
all my life
they did not judge me
they saw me
as I was born
innocent
without question
you are my rose
and I pick you today
and always

Habibi

My habibi is my beloved
my storm and my sand
my cloud in the sky that brings rain
to a parched land
my habibi is my beloved
I long to be near him and to kiss
his lips
my habibi is not from my land
nor I from his
but I do love him
his language is not my own
but we speak of love
oh let it be true
my habibi I long for you
beloved habibi
far away
u are my desert angel
and for u I pray
to come to me
let our paths cross,
leave me not my habibi
for u have long been gone
and I love u…

I dont care anymore
and I don’t want you back
cause when you show up your bring
back everything
every smile and every laugh
every tear
and fight we had
I don’t care about you at all
I can forget you I’ve seen at all
there is only one thing I should say is
that I still love you
even though say
I don’t care about you
the world can go to hell
I don’t need you and baby there’s
more lies for me to tell
I just want you near me
don’t you dare go away…
I don’t care about you but
I love with all my heart
I don’t care if you pack up and go
just come back to me baby so I can let you know
I care.

where is the moment I spent with you

when I knew you were the one I loved truly
where is the time that you were mine and I was
the one u wanted only?
Time keeps passing by
like tears in my eyes
and I’m alone again
baby
don’t tell me you been thinking of me
when the phone don’t ring
and I get lost in my meomories
and I can’t see past you and me and all
the things we wanted
where is the moment when its the winning
score
and I know that you’re here and I don’t have to wish
any more….oh oh oh
tell me when I don’t have to worry about
u and me not making it
and the moment comes and you are
here with me…..
again……….

what was it like to love him

What was like to love him
it was like sunshine on my face
it was like ice cream and happiness
it was like every thing was okay
it was like being loved for who I was
and now I’m afraid he’s gone away
or I have to go
cause we don’t know what to say
steeping on shoe laces
dancing around the fire of chance
never really knowing if it was friendship or
romance
I told him I loved him
but I don’t know what kind of love he had
what was it like to love him
My god it was grand
but the pain comes back like a river
trying to drown sweet meomories
and I don’t know if he will ever
come back to me
cause they all run away once you give them the key
to your heart what was it like
why did it have to hurt
when all I ever wanted was to give him love
and hope it was returned
now Ill wear a mask and I’ll lie and i’ll say he’s not the guy
I thought he was
and I’ll be cruel
cause I loved him and that was the truth..
what was it like ?
don’t ask me now
My eyes are closing searching for a meomory of a smile,
I hope to figure this out.

You never wanted to take me in your arms
and hold me like that dream I had one night
You sat there like in a movie
watching me
seeing right through me
and one day you would use my words
against me
oh its a pity
how the game played out
you got whats due me
I don’t why
my
empty soul’s bleeding
but you wont make me cry
cause I know
that I am
MY
own best friend
and u dont own me
Updated 2 months ago
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what is it

what is it
that u wont love me
what is this
that I cant win one heart in this world
why can’t I
be the one
he loves
why do make mistakes after mistake
friendship is a laugh
when you get hurt
you are lost
like rain in the dirt..
dont tell me now
dont tell me then
what a bad word
it is
FRIEND

I thought I knew
but i don’t know
does love go away instead of grow ?
Should I stop wanting an embrace
or kiss on the lips ?
what is love ?
does love fade

why is it
love comes to us when we are
in a dark moment
and calls to us again
kiss me my heart sings kiss me

there is hope
there is despair
what is love like ?
I don’t know
I don’t know….

I know I love
I miss
I yearn
I hope
I feel this

what is love like though ?
Tell me your story please
let me sit and listen please…

m

Kentucky
SURROUNDED by the hills and trees
memories
come back to me of how
things used to be
of christmas and of of thanksgiving
and fallen leaves
I hear my own accent as I walk around
town
I am part of kentucky
of this place
I have found
some of my meomories
that I thought I lost
to the big city crowd
the shadows of maples
fall across my face
and I realize I can not forget this place
it is part of me
forever.